And it changed my life. Seriously. Thanks to about a zillion comments that went something like “You need to go to Foodswings, like, yesterday,” I made it my mission to hit up this vegan junk food Mecca this past Saturday. Tucked away on Grand St. in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (like it could be anywhere else), this tiny joint serves up everything from Sweet Southern Fried BBQ Drumsticks to Double Chili Dogs. And let me tell you, it’s as unbelievable as it sounds.

Here’s how it went down: It was 1am at Barcade, this ridiculous realized portmanteau of a bar and late 80’s arcade (think Ms. Pacman and Punch Out) in Brooklyn. We had been there for a few solid hours, drinking some beer and losing miserably at 25-cent games. Then, out of the depths of my salad-eating being, the craving emerged. The craving. You know the one: greasy, fried, slathered-in-sauce, down-n’-dirty, screw-the-calories gotta-have-it-now craving. And it was serious…

I attempted to suppress it. What veggie snack could I possibly eat to satiate this?! I panicked. The worst part was, I knew exactly what I wanted: Buffalo wings. Oh lord, how I wanted Buffalo wings. For years, I had enjoyed those hot, spicy wings dipped in cool bleu cheese… but I now couldn't even bring myself to look at chicken in the same way. It had left me with a spicy and delicious hole in my veggie-loving heart. 

Sigh.

But wait… that place everyone’s been telling me about… was it near?  

Since I had/have absolutely no concept of Brooklyn's geography, my lovely phone aided me in figuring out that Foodswings was *gasp* a ten minute walk! It was decided.

As I approached Foodswings' counter, I was handed a Midnight Munchies menu, consisting of only the greasiest, most delicious fare. My eye immediately honed in on the Buffalo Cutlet Sandwich: “A battered and fried cutlet drenched in Buffalo sauce and bleu cheese on a sandwich roll. $6.50” If that wasn’t a sign that the universe wishes me unfettered happiness, I don’t know what is.

My sandwich was ready in five minutes, and it took me about two to devour it. I was like a snake with an unhinged jaw and a vegan mouse to swallow whole. And let me tell you: the sandwich was fantastic. Although I’m usually weird about fake meats, this actually had an eerily chicken-y consistency and tasted only of its sauce. The cutlet was perfectly crispy and slathered with super spicy and flavorful Buffalo sauce. The bleu cheese was cool and refreshing, and the bun held it all together wonderfully. My only complaint is that I should have ordered five more. 

Foodswings: you quenched my craving and gave me something really cool to say when people ask, “So what exactly do you eat?!” And for that, I thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.